I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
