The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
