The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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