it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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