I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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