I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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