In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
