And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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