i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
