Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
