She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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