I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
