Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
