people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
