dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
