What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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