By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
