He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize