All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
