So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Success! We fucked roommates!
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