My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
