somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
