I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
