so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
