there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
