we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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