Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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