Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
