Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
