quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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