You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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