I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
