Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
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