I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
