bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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