other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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