Life is so much better after having sex.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
i think we sleep fucked last night...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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