Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Everclear isn't food dammit
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
