We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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