yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
