this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
