Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
