he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
