is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
