I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
