so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize