I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
foreskin is a definite game changer
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize
