I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
