im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
its liver damage thursday
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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