the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
do nipples grow back?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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