Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
