yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
